| 13. LOT SAYS WHAT UP, DICKFACE. |
[24 Jul 2009|01:10pm] |
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HEY FENWICK
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| 012. I AM NOT A MAIDEN FAIR, AND I AM NOT A KITTEN STUCK UP IN A TREE SOMEWHERE. |
[01 Sep 2008|11:01pm] |
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It's been a while since I opened this thinger. What's digs, fucksticks?
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| 011. I TOLD YA I WAS TROUBLE, YOU KNOW THAT I'M NO GOOD. |
[18 Apr 2008|12:36pm] |
( order kids and friends of order kids. )
Good show, mates. Who wants to get pissed.
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| 010. GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT GONNA MAKE YOU GROOVE. |
[21 Mar 2008|07:22pm] |
(her brother sent her alcohol because it is her birthday, so she is a bit buzzed up atm.)
OKAY SO SINCE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND THE BIRTHDAY CLAUSE OF 1961 STATES THAT IT WOULD BE NEITHER RIGHT OR JUST FOR ME TO BE DENIED ANY FUCKING RIDICULOUS REQUEST THAT I CAN THINK OF
SO I WANT KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT
MAKE THIS HAPPEN OK THANKS
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| 009. LET'S DO SOME LIVING AFTER WE DIE. |
[27 Feb 2008|08:47pm] |
( gryffindor girls. )
So Mary I'd watch your tits if I were you.
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| 008. I'M HOT BLOODED, CHECK IT AND SEE. |
[26 Feb 2008|11:22pm] |
This is Wallace. I have won his allegiance and now we are associates.
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| 007. YOU KNOW YOU SHOOK ME SO HARD, BABY. |
[25 Feb 2008|12:39am] |
( benjy. )
Okay I need you to answer me a question and don't be a fucking bag of wank about it it's serious.
Am I nice?
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| 006. AND SHE'S BUYING A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN. |
[18 Feb 2008|12:05am] |
Lot is debased.
30 Lot went up from Zoar, and stayed in the mountains, and his two daughters with him; for he was afraid to stay in Zoar; and he stayed in a cave, he and his two daughters.
31 Then the firstborn said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of the earth.
32 "Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him that we may preserve our family through our father."
33 So they made their father drink wine that night, and the firstborn went in and lay with her father; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.
34 On the following day, the firstborn said to the younger, "Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve our family through our father."
35 So they made their father drink wine that night also, and the younger arose and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.
36 Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father.
37 The firstborn bore a son, and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day.
38 As for the younger, she also bore a son, and called his name Ben-ammi; he is the father of the sons of Ammon to this day.
The darker side of Christianity, holy flying fucks in space. Carlotta isn't looking half as bad anymore.
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| 005. ME AND BOBBY MCGEE. |
[14 Feb 2008|11:42pm] |
( benjy. )
I'm just proud you didn't go for ABBA, boyo.
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| 004. GET IT WHILE YOU CAN. |
[07 Feb 2008|11:14pm] |
( benjy. )
So I heard you found your balls. They must be cold!
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| 003. BROWN SUGAR, HOW COME YOU TASTE SO GOOD YEAH. |
[31 Jan 2008|11:23pm] |
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Today I saw God, and He was good.
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| 002. BEEN DAZED AND CONFUSED FOR SO LONG, IT'S NOT TRUE. |
[18 Jan 2008|01:04pm] |
( private. )
Got a letter from Dr. Watson today. He asked if I had been doing the "reflective exercises" he asked me to and if I could send him a report of what I had reflected on.
What I Reflected On:
1. Starting every letter with "My dear Watson," is still funny.
2. Telling Dr. Watson all about Hogwarts is okay because he thinks it's a part of my troubled subconscious, which is also funny.
3. He must think I have a really fucking vivid subconscious.
4. I had another seizure in the loo instead of the hospital wing but what Madame Pomfrey doesn't know doesn't get me bitched at.
5. I wonder what a herd of frolicking naked half-men half-horses represent in my subconscious.
6. Mum had no right to write and I will fucking decapitate myself and use my disembodied head as a revolving disco ball at my funeral before writing her back.
7. Everyone in this fecking school is pairing off.
8. Idiots.
9. I miss hitting on Dr. Watson face to face. Long and explicit letters get dull after awhile. There's only so many ways to proposition your shrink for meaningless steamy anger sex to "release underlying stresses and tensions" until the thing loses it's hilarity. Much better to be there to see his face turn that blue-ish colour which I can only assume is a side effect of his unprofessional lust.
10. I think a third year heard me singing in the shower, so I will have to kill it.
11. This is worth reporting if only to hear an encore of Dr. Watson's "Why It Is Wrong to Threaten People with Murder" speech. Although reporting this may also bring yet another maybe more incensed version of the "Why Therapy is Serious and Was Not Designed Purely to Amuse You" one. If it wasn't designed for it, it's amusing nature is at the least a very glorious accident.
12. Mum had no right to write and I will eat a casserole made of camel's testicles while listening to "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family before I even think of writing her back with so much as an old fashioned "fuck you very much".
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| 001. GO, GO! GO JOHNNY, GO GO GO. AH JOHNNY B. GOODE. |
[09 Jan 2008|12:27am] |
( benjy. )
So who do you think would win in a fight, a fucking pissed off ostrich or Kingsley Shacklebolt without a wand?
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